Finding the Diamond in Unexpected Places

 By Rev. Angelika Schafer

There has been a big change in the way I relate to heart ache lately. In the past when the sub-conscious kicked up another chunk of pain from the depths of the psyche, it could lead to depression for a while. But now there is a much more constructive and skillful way to meet the unexpected "guests".

 
A few months ago, a deep pain from the past came up, which had something to do with being mis-understood and criticized. When first noticing the internal disturbance I tried to ignore it and continue my work, but I couldn't concentrate. It was calling for my full attention.

 
I finally gave in and curled up on my bed, focusing on the breath and the basic sensations in the body and calling in my Divine helpers. The heart area felt pretty sore and there was crying yet I was able to remain open and present with this experience without judgment or trying to escape, to "heal" or fix it.

 
After some time a memo came in from the holy spirit in form of a question: "Do you remember how it is when you feel bliss and joy? Yes of course was my answer. Would you rather feel that right now? This question took me by surprise and my honest answer was: No, I would rather see what is still hidden in the depth of the mind, so I can get to know all of myself, not just the light and the beauty, but also the darkness, the shadow and whatever sorrow and pain has not yet been met. They are the orphans of Psyche and Soma waiting for us to finally embrace them.

 
After some more time passed with some more tears, I was prompted from deep within to speak the following words to the pain itself: "I am so sorry I was never willing or able to feel you fully before, to give you my care and some space to just be. These words had a powerful effect, as something deep down in my system relaxed and released. This is how God loves us, no matter what our condition happens to be.

 
And yes I felt tired after this experience and needed some rest, but there was a deeper peace and gratitude that the Divine intelligence keeps showing me more of what still needs to be met and loved back home into the Sacred Heart, which can hold and embrace all sorrows, big or small.

 
I no longer want strategies, manipulation, band aids for any pain, instead I want more and more openness, compassion and skillfulness to meet whatever is there. And so it is that the greatest pain can turn into the unexpected gift, the diamond of greater integration and understanding of true Divine Love.

 
The Yin Yang symbol shows that integration of the opposites within us perfectly. The light is in the dark, the dark is in the light and together they make one whole and balanced circle of life.

I made a Yin Yang collage for myself. 

I recently finished producing an eleven minute healing Prayer Chant: Om Asatoma - Maa. You can hear a one minute sample here and I will include the cover which has the prayer in Sanskrit and the English Translation: https://angelikahealingmusic.com/music/

THE GUESTHOUSE by Rumi
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Jalaluddin Rumi from Rumi: Selected Poems, trans Coleman Barks with John Moynce, A. J. Arberry, Reynold Nicholson (Penguin Books, 2004)

Join Padre Paul, Rev. Angelika Schafer, and Monk Rick Sheff later this month on July 26 for a one-night Zoom event titled "Finding the Diamond in Unexpected Places". Find more information here.