Ron Roth used to say, “The spiritual life is simple, but it’s not easy.” I took this to mean that recognizing what feels like truth to us may come easily but living and practicing spirituality (which includes deep levels of surrender, healing and growth) while beautiful, can also be very painful and feel overwhelming at times. I am personally in the deepest growth period of my life, thus far. For the past year and a half, I have been re-introduced to Shari, all of me, and so much of me that was hidden deep within. The start of that year and a half ago was not only very painful for me in many ways, but it was for my family as well. My husband Bob, parents and children, had known me as a pillar of strength in every way. At that time, however, the old wineskins could no longer hold the wine. The hurts and pains from the past were creating holes and wine was spilling out from all sides. I was breaking down, emotionally, spiritually and physically. My family then witnessed me as frail, solemn and removed. They could not understand, felt great fear and helplessness. Both my husband and father said to me (in different ways), “Shari you are bigger than this”. In disbelief at their statements, I said, “No, I need help I cannot pray myself into healing.” A New Day was dawning, a huge journey lay upon me. It was the opportunity to begin looking at the traumas from early childhood, that I had buried for survival, an opening to heal and learn to live authentically. A Holy Spirit Miracle was working in my life!
“The Cave you Fear to Enter May Hold the Light you Seek.”
- Rumi
As I “listened” and then “acted” on the guidance that God was giving to me, I felt a ray of hope swirling about my being. The name, and the picture in my mind’s eye, of the person that I was guided to contact. I did listen and I did act. This Miracle Blessing was and is, an earth Angel named Irit; who at first connection said to me “how can I help”. I will never forget those four words that meant so much to me, in my desperate time of need. She literally helped me save my life and clarified that I have always taken care of everyone else before myself. I received from her compassion, healing and guidance, that supported (and has continued to support me, along with a Process Therapist) on my deep healing journey. Today, I am strong and continue this healing commitment to myself, for it is a continual process of a lifetime and beyond. Like all of us though, I do have times when I get stuck and this is also part of growth.
“Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor, hold us
upside down and shake all the nonsense out”
- Rumi
A New Day Truly Has Come! So many of us have had life-altering experiences and situations through the Pandemic. We know there is synchronicity in all of it, and we are all being asked to look deeper within ourselves and address the mucky muck that lies below the surface. Some of us have chosen to do so and have been guided (as I shared that I was) to the aligned person or persons for help. Speaking from my own experience, seeking help has been so freeing for me, as “to be fully seen” releases a great burden of pretending. While I had never thought of myself as pretending/not being truthful or honest, when we have unresolved traumas, they affect how we behave and react in our daily life. We cannot, therefore, be fully authentic/truthful if we are expressing in ways, (including over confidence, false joy, etc.) that have protected and kept us safe from facing our demons. After so many years of carrying the burden myself, sharing my feelings of terror, sadness and loneliness from my youth, with my healing team was a deep inner child rejoicing! I no longer had to carry all of these memories alone.
"You are searching the world for treasure
But the real treasure is yourself.
If you are tempted by bread
You will find only bread
What you seek for
You Become”
- Rumi
With deepening my commitment to myself and my healing journey, I will be taking The Process Institute’s 9-week workshop. This actually begins tomorrow! Due to extenuating circumstances this opening was not there for me until this time, which of course IS Divine Alignment. Another Miracle happened just before Christmas, regarding the Process. After a few months of leg work, I was able to get clarity from the state of Connecticut that a Waiver had been signed by our Governor through Covid, and I would not have to travel to California to take the Process classes, what a gift! I have made a Promise to God and myself, to show up, be vulnerable and authentic in these classes and continue this in my daily life. Each one of us can make this same commitment, and as we do so, we step more fully into our light. New Openings and New Opportunities show up on our path because we are cleaner and clearer in our vibration and energetic stream...more powerful channels and instruments with Holy Spirit Grace!
This version of the song Tender Mercy (Lavished Grace) touches me at the core and melts my heart in the Divine. It stirs within how important it is to forgive ourselves, as we seek forgiveness with God. A tender reminder that we are all doing the best we can at any given time. Much Love,🙏💜🕊
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