When I Allow Grace to Come In

 By Student Juliette Tanzi

I loved the A-Team when I was a child. Especially when the team leader Hannibal Smith would say “I love it when a plan comes together.” The thing is it’s not my plan it's God’s plan. Recently as a student in the CLM program, I have been blessed to get to know Padre Pio better. What called to me about him was how he helped people come back to the love of God by releasing “stuff” in confession. I hadn’t been to confession in years. Yet I really felt called to do a confession but I wanted it to be different than how I experienced it as a child. I wanted deeper. So I asked God to give me direction. That prayer was answered by Rev. Susan who offered to hear my confession. It was exactly what I needed and I felt as if years of guilt and shame I held towards myself left. I must say I have been happier and feel more connected than I have felt in years. Yeah!!

The next part was the gift of how the plan came together. I recently attended the CLM Spring retreat. I was a volunteer and it was my position to hold space. The clarity with which I walked into this retreat was undeniable. I felt the presence of Mary as so many had just returned from a pilgrimage to Medjugorje. I felt her call to be her conduit, I allowed her energy to be with me. She worked through me with such a sweetness. I am blessed because of it. I asked, “What you would have me do?” I listened and did as directed. Sometimes it was holding the container or sending a healing flow. Another was praying while those on the floor were receiving the healing of the prayer that flowed through me. They received on that floor not stirring until the prayer had ceased. Knowing that when I was completed on how the room felt it was only because I had allowed Mary's Grace to come through me. But it wasn’t just me who held this Grace. I had the awareness that as we tapped in, so many were holding this energy of Mary from Medjugorje. We were like little Marys all over the room.

I brought Mary’s sweetness home with me. My massage clients have noticed a new level of healing that they are receiving from me. I am so happy and blessed. I really feel that the confession is what allowed me to go to the depths I have been experiencing. I forgave myself for the “stuff” I had already been forgiven for. The deepening of my relation to God. The gifts that have continued since I had my confession being witnessed and held in such a loving place have been enormous. It wasn’t my plan, but that’s okay. I really love when God’s plan comes together, all I have to do is allow.