The Art of Surrender

 By Rev. Wendy Chojnowski-Olson

Surrender-verb-to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress

cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority (1)

Every club has its own indoctrination process. Its rules of membership. Many include outward symbols of membership. Christianity is no different.

Romans 12 (2) is a concise rendition of the process of transformation required of all Christians, both overtly and covertly. After many years on the journey, I would go so far as to state that most of the indoctrination process required of a Christian takes place within the dark recesses of an individual’s mind and soul.

It is a process that involves an active immersion and engagement with the art of surrender.

I believe that the phrase the Art of Surrender, much like the similarly titled Art of War (3), is most appropriate here because, it too, is an active and strategic process.

Strategy-noun-a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim. (4)

With all of this said, I believe that, as in war, the initial contract and expectations are a bit murky. Also, as in war, there are many battles and pivotal points along the way.

My own descent, into a deeper mastery of what had become a somewhat familiar process, began in January of 2013.

I had made the decision to answer the call to deeper commitment in ministry through participation in a Doctor of Ministry program, as part of a peer group, that more closely aligned with my experience of God. The week before that I lost one of my best friends. Having made the commitment, I was obligated to participate in the first intensive week or be withdrawn from the class until the following year. I had no choice but to attend. Her wake was on the last day of classes. I had no choice but to be absent. I had entered into the contract of surrender and was being given my first test.

How committed are you?

How committed are you? is a question that I would be asked countless times over those next three years.

As, I was challenged in my beliefs. As, My beliefs contradicted my experiences. As, My idols fell. One by one. As, I walked through the challenges of my own life and their pull on my heart and the time required of me to juggle the many hot pokers in my hands at any given moment. As, the God I knew seemed to bear little resemblance to the God of Christianity.

Lessons learned: Knowing about God is not the same thing as knowing God. Theology and Hermeneutics are too small a container to contain the vastness that is God.

Do you trust me?

The question no one prepares you for when you first embark upon the path. A question I’ve been called to answer ten thousand times these last 30 years. One that has been almost impossible to answer in the affirmative these last few years.

January of 2016 I graduated from my Doctor of Ministry program. I was now Rev. Dr. Wendy Chojnowski-Olson (x2 because I had 2 DMin’s). April 30 of that year I was to leave on my first ministry assignment. That morning my appendix burst inside of me igniting the first of 3 death experiences over the course of 5 days. The final one being least dramatic and most transformational for me on a personal level. It destroyed any shreds of religion left in me. It was a merciless gasoline fire that completely eradicated any notions of self, service and God. I left my life as someone with a plan and a purpose. I was returned as a blank slate with no memory of whom I had been.

No one from the ministry enquired as to my whereabouts or my continued progress over the next 2.5 years of my recovery. My friends and colleagues from the previous 3 years of ministry were nowhere to be found. It was just as well because I could no longer remember the why of my various relationships.

Lessons learned: No one is indispensable. Life and Death rest in God’s hands alone. There is nothing outside His Power so there is no reason to fear anything. Knowing vs. Believing this has been an indispensable gift to me these last 2 years.

January of 2019, I had elective surgery on my spine to correct damage that had been done over the course of a very rich and unexpected life. A life which had been granted to me through another encounter with a surgeon after a similar life event almost 50 years earlier. As the previous journey had served to remind me of my dependence on God, the last three years have served to remind me of my dependence on others. I have learned to let go of the need to do and serve and instead become comfortable with being and accepting service. It has been the most challenging class so far. Had I known then what I know now, I might have read that contract a bit more carefully and, likely, added a dozen or so clauses.

Lessons learned: Surrender is an inward journey with very little room for anyone else.

I must admit that I struggle with this lesson every single day. As I reflect on my life and the lessons of these last few years, I frequently ask myself whether the journey has been worth the price of the ticket.

Faith-The assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

1 dictionary.com Surrender definition

2 Bible Gateway contains Romans 12 which is viewed by many as the quintessential treatise on the Christian life, although there exist many verses on what it means to surrender to God.

3 Art of War by Sun Tzu

4 Dictionary of Oxford Languages. Oxford University Press. Google.