Matters of the Heart

 Or More Accurately: What Matters to the Heart

by Monk Mary Kay Simmons

Over this last year I have learned much from a heart diagnosis that challenged me to look at my life in a variety of ways. As many of you know I am an RN, raised by an RN, so if anything physical was off in my body the first choice was to go to my Pediatrician to figure it out.

As I developed and broadened my perspective, I learned that the physical, spiritual, & mental parts of me are intertwined and influence each other. I really learned this at a deeper level when my heart issue occurred. At this stage in my life I knew I had to delve deep to connect the dots between what was happening with my heart, in my spiritual life, and in the mental/psychological part of me to learn from this.

When something occurs in my life I am willing to look the three aspects (physical, spiritual & mental) yet my usual way of handling a situation has been “to try and fix it” and/ or push on through to find a solution. Clearly my typical approach was not going to work in this situation. As well as, I was holding a belief that I am a RN, a healer, with a strong spiritual practice and have a great healing team therefore this should heal quickly with minimal medical intervention. Not to happen!

Yet I heard early on from my physician, my guides & healers it may take time, I had to slow down, go step by step and that this was going to be a “big” learning opportunity.

Spiritually I prayed & asked my community to pray. I participated in all the CLM zooms & healing events as well as the Tele-service calls. I participated in the Oneness monthly offerings. I prayed to my Divine and the Blessed Mother as well as my spiritual buddies I often go to when the going gets rough. I participated monthly in FSD’s healing portion of the God retreats.

Mentally/psychologically I worked hard on staying in the now…not making up “what if stories” but finding the beauty, joy, and gratitude in all I could. I completed the Process course that I was enrolled when diagnosed. I continued my classes at FSD through zoom in my quest to keep learning who I am and maybe find the “why” or “the what” that kept this condition going.

I requested readings throughout the year and each one spoke to the next step for me to take. I discovered I needed to stop making myself wrong, to let go of my expectations, to make pertinent decisions (retirement) and other life-style changes. It was also recommended I got into therapy with a Process therapist to look at my family connection and possible issues contributing to my perspective and the pain being expressed through my heart…which I did.

All this was the perfect path leading me always to back to my Divine…talking to, listening to and feeling the Divine energies and love being showering over me. Doctors’ appointments, frequent lab work, continuous med changes, diagnostic test/procedures, and finally a hospital procedure were my learning tools to open my heart more & allow the Divine in. Each of these occurrences was my opportunity to go into fear or to be the light that I am and allow the Divine to blossom more in my heart.

After my heart issue resolved I saw I built a muscle of being present, not go to my comfort place “fear”, and continue to listen to my Divine and Guides even when I did not think I was hearing anything. I learned staying connected to my Divine momently during my day was most important. Praying was not just during my am spiritual ritual or before closing my eyes to sleep but it was as I was driving to appointments or after the appointments when it was news I did not want to hear. Praying was not just when I needed help but for expressing my gratitude and appreciation to the Divine,

for this healing opportunity, my guides and healing team which was the healing balm that soothed my heart. This experience has opened my heart, taught me how to surrender to the Divine, allow the Divine to direct my life and to know that I am truly loved and showered with so much Divine grace… always. Fear is no longer my comfort place and being with my Divine is.

So often we think of miracles appearing like a bolt of lightning. But the deepest miracles are often the ones that alter us in profound ways. They require Divine Grace and our willingness and muscle… two qualities of the heart.